Cubiconnin’: A few scribbles from both the inventor and the self-proclaimed voice of Cubicons.
First from Bryce Marley, the inventor and also downsized Safety Engineer.
“Hello, my name is Bryce Marley. I invented Cubicons initially to keep people safe while doing what they seem to think are ordinary, harm-free tasks. But one small mishap with the air vents or a slight mistaple in the copy room, and it’s sure to end up in a chaotic bloodbath. Or not. But just to prevent the possiblity, I came up with Cubicons.”
“And now that I have them actually produced and out in the market, over the eyes and on the faces of cubicle folk across all continents, it’s becoming very clear to me that these things are about more than safety. They seem to be removing the fear from the minds of cubiclites. They’re giving ho-humm-just-another-day-at-the-office kinda people a bit of a spark. Sending them into a whole new world of “Hey, that’s right! I actually do have a life. I am somebody. I’m not just this nameless unknown person sitting here under flourescentville, wasting my life away!! No!! I’m Bob, or Kathy, or Darin (insert your name here), and I’m SOMEBODY!! Somebody with a dream. A purpose.”
“So thank you Cubicons! Thank you for helping me see clearly again! For kicking fear and hopelessness aside. And giving me my life back.”
And now a scribble or two from Subha, ¼ Lebanese rapper who “kinda digs dem Cubicons”.
“Yo. This be Subha. I’m all chillin’ wid deez Cubicons and be thinkin’ stuff like “Dang girlfriend, you be all dat with your powerpoint. You be throwing dem numberz out for 4 Q like you da superstarz of planet meeting. So take those Cubions. Tell ‘em you love ‘em. Talk to ‘em. Show them and all your peeps that you be rolling with bidness jargon, kickin’ it like you gots nothing to lose”. But dats just a sample of some stuff I be thinkin’ when I gots my Cubicons on.”
“I takes it slow sometimes though. Cause these things ain’t to be messed with. They gots power. And they pullz power outta even da uncoolest of dudes in da office. You gets these Cubicons close to your face and it be like “Shaboingza!! Kabluuueee! Wonder twinz powerz active – form of a deal makin’ superhero….shape of a fine-tailored bidness suit. And da rest is all “Yo yo yo. Where’d you get that soul sista? Where you been hidin’ those bidness skillz @ girl??”
Both Bryce and Subha have expressed appreciation for the newfound word in the English language – Cubiconnin’ . The definition is up to each and every individual who dons Cubicons. But in general it means finding your cohenes or cohonas again.